Step by Step
by Kairaita
Summary: On those days, Lucy wonders how they just know. Friendship can be a terribly complicated thing sometimes.


_~Step by Step~_

_There is nothing as valuable as being able to understand, even if it's just a little bit._

* * *

><p>So they had just been saved from the predictably ominous-sounding Tower of Heaven, and decided to celebrate their narrow escape by finishing their vacation.<p>

Well, it could have been worse, Lucy mused.

The paranoid voice in the back of her mind continued to rant about all the different ways they could have been killed, but then again, it was in the back of her mind for a reason. Lucy sighed and slumped across the small table in their hotel room. It had been a while since she was so exhausted, and if this was how she felt, she didn't want to know how tired Erza might be, after all she'd been through.

Natsu was dead to the world on the bed, snoring loudly, with Happy curled up next to him. Lucy spared a small smile at the pair. The two of them were much cuter when they were sleeping quietly, instead of rampaging through the town of the day. But another (totally different) voice in her head radiated quiet concern, because it wasn't right if they weren't up to their usual chaos.

…Was she really wishing that Natsu would cause some trouble? Fairy Tail must be slowly melting her brain.

Even so, yet _another_ miniscule voice pointed out that she wouldn't have it any other way.

Lucy shook her head in irritation, twirling a strand of hair around her finger. Gray had gone out somewhere, and she hoped for the sake of the other tourists that they weren't too scarred by his inevitable stripping. Meanwhile, Erza was…

Speak of the devil. Erza was just coming out from the bathroom, having been rewrapping the bandages around her arm, from the looks of it.

"Hey, Erza," Lucy patted the empty chair next to her, glancing worriedly at the other woman. "Does it still hurt? I can go ask for some painkillers if you'd like."

"No, it's fine." Erza pulled the chair out, settling into it with easy grace despite her injuries. "Did Gray go out somewhere?"

"I think he just went to go look around. He said something about not being able to deal with Natsu's snoring too." Lucy was gratified to see Erza's lips curl up in a small smile. She certainly didn't do that often enough, especially in the aftermath of what had happened in the tower.

"Mm, it's a bit odd to have the place so quiet," Erza said thoughtfully, casting a glance at the soundly sleeping Natsu. "Snoring aside, I mean."

"Tell me about it," Lucy agreed. "I keep thinking that any moment, something big's going to happen again. Is it just me, or does everything seem to happen to us? We, um, t-take an S-Class mission to Galuna Island," she said quickly, not eager to remind Erza that they had broken the rules that time, "And then there was the Phantom Lord incident… And on our vacation, this whole tower thing happens."

"I'm sorry," Erza said softly, bowing her head. "I caused everyone so much trouble."

"Oh! No, no, no!" Lucy waved a hand frantically, chastising herself for being so untactful. Of course Erza would take her comment that way; it was just how she was. "I didn't mean it like that! I mean, I caused enough trouble for everyone when Phantom Lord attacked too, so we're even there. Not that it's a good thing!" she added hastily. "Things just… _happen_, I guess. No one blames you at all, Erza."

"I could say the same for you, Lucy. You still blame yourself for the Phantom Lord incident, don't you?" Erza countered.

A slightly uncomfortable silence fell as Lucy tried to think of a response. It wasn't like she could _help_ it, since it really was her fault that the other guild had tried to come after Fairy Tail. But…

"I guess we're just like that," Lucy murmured, unable to deny that Erza was right. Still, she'd finally understood how much she meant to her friends, when they had come rushing to the place where she had once lived with the misguided notion that she was going to stay. And at that time, there was nothing that could have made her happier than knowing that her friends were willing to follow her.

…Was it presumptuous to think of them as friends right now? Sure, they had been on several missions together, and Lucy _knew_ that they cared for her and everything, but there was still that tiniest of doubts that they simply saw her as a comrade who didn't mean anything more than just another member. She'd only been in the guild for a short time after all, compared to the years that other members had spent.

"Hey, Erza," Lucy started tentatively. "Do you… think that you and I are friends?"

Erza looked at her as if she was crazy, and that tiny doubt began to creep forward in her mind.

"That's a silly question," Erza finally said, and Lucy felt her heart drop into her stomach for a moment. Of course they weren't close enough to be considered friends, of course an S-Class mage didn't consider a new member like her worthy of attention, of course that it was all just a coincidence that they were on the same team, of course…

"Of course you are."

Lucy jerked her head upward to stare at the other woman with wide eyes. "E-ehhhhh?" Alright, maybe there could have been a less embarrassing sound to make, but at that moment, Lucy hadn't thought of anything more eloquent to say.

Erza looked confused and slightly hurt by her reaction. "Why is that such a surprise? We've been on missions together; we've helped each other. Or are you saying none of that meant anything to you?"

"N-no, that's not it at all!" Lucy rubbed fiercely at her face, certain that it was bright red. "It's just… It's just that I know I haven't been in Fairy Tail as long as some of you. I've only been here a few months, and you, Natsu, and Gray have been in the guild for years. You guys know almost everything about each other, and…" She bit her lip, not wanting to spill out her childish fears of being left out and alone. She had definitely gotten over that a long time ago.

…Probably.

"How long you've been in Fairy Tail doesn't matter, Lucy. In fact, I'd even say that it's thanks to you that our team exists at all." Erza said warmly, smiling in sincere affirmation.

Lucy felt her cheeks heating up again. "You don't mean that, Erza. I just happened to drop in."

"I do, Lucy. Even though they listen to what I say most of the time, I've never been able to get Natsu and Gray on a team together like we are now until you joined. And I hope," she added, suddenly looking… shy? Impossible. The great Titania would never look like that. "I hope that you consider us friends too."

The answer was obvious. "Of course!" Lucy exclaimed, laughing slightly. And she realized something then: maybe Erza had her own insecurities too. For all of her skill and her composed demeanor, maybe Erza wasn't so different from herself after all.

"…I used to be so jealous of you," Lucy sighed. Erza raised an eyebrow, silently waiting for her to continue. "You're pretty, you're the strongest female mage in Fairy Tail, and you know how to get everything done. I was jealous of how you fit in with everyone else and how you were just one of those people that other people accepted without question in the guild. I still get jealous of you sometimes. But," she raised her head up to look at Erza in the eye, "I'm proud of who I am right now, and most of all, I'm proud to have someone like you for a friend."

"Lucy…"

She suddenly realized what she had actually said in her ramble, and Lucy scrambled to recover. "I-I mean, I'm not trying to get sappy on you or anything! I… I just… I don't know, I wasn't thinking." Lucy grinned nervously, casting about for something else to say. "Sorry, I didn't mean to just dump that on y-"

"I was a little jealous of you too."

Lucy stopped mid-sentence. Had she heard right? "What?"

Erza cleared her throat, flushing a little. Not quite to the shade of her hair, but it was certainly close. "I'm sorry, it's not really easy for me to admit. But after what you said just now, I think you deserve to hear it too." She looked down, fiddling with her hands. "I was always shut up in my armor, trying to block everything out. But you, you weren't afraid to show what you felt at any time. I envied how easy it was for you to connect with other people, and for them to connect with you. Natsu's proof of that; he wouldn't just grab some random girl to join our guild just because they wanted to. So…" She trailed off. There was that look again, Lucy noticed. That shy, almost vulnerable look of someone who was afraid to try and reach out in fear of being rejected, but wanting to do so anyway. "After what I learned in the tower, I realized that I'm proud of who I am, and I'm especially proud to consider you a friend as well."

There was another bout of silence, but it was much less oppressive than before. The sort of silence between friends, Lucy realized.

"…Well!" Lucy said finally, clapping her hands together. Silly as it was, the sharp sound startled her slightly, and she saw Erza twitch a little too. "We're all done with the whole 'reaching an understanding' thing, so… Definitely friends then?" Lucy giggled a bit at her own childish question before breaking into a full-out laugh, and Erza followed suit a moment later.

"Definitely friends," Erza agreed. It feels nice when Erza pulls her into a hug, and even nicer when Lucy realized that she didn't have to brace herself for the expected head-on-metal collision after all, since the normally armored mage wasn't wearing any. But Lucy understood now.

They both did. It was a girl thing.

* * *

><p>It wasn't until after she had gotten up, gotten dressed, and generally gotten ready for the day that Lucy slumped back onto her bed, sitting with her knees curled up to her chest.<p>

It had been fine yesterday for some reason. She hadn't minded getting up, going to Fairy Tail, hanging out with everyone else and chatting about that new guild, Sabertooth. But today…

Lucy wasn't sure if she could bring herself to go to the guild today. She loved everyone there so much, but the usual noisy atmosphere really wasn't what she needed right now. She wasn't sureexactly _what_ it was she needed at the moment though, and that confused her more than anything else.

Maybe she would just stay in her apartment and let it sink in that she really was an orphan now. The words on her father's letter streamed through her mind, reminding her of the bitter fact that she'd never said goodbye, and a multitude of other things Lucy had never realized that she'd wanted to say.

Suddenly, her rarely used doorbell rang. "Coming!" Lucy called, shaking the thoughts away. She rushed to the door and opened it, raising an eyebrow in surprise at her visitor. "Gray?"

"Hey," Gray waved lazily, leaning on the doorframe. Lucy was more surprised that Gray had actually used the doorbell properly, instead of just invading her house as usual. That and the fact that he was fully dressed.

"What brings you here? Is there something wrong at the guild?" And why did you actually use the door, Lucy did not ask.

"No, nothing's wrong. I just wondered if you wanted to go for a walk."

Lucy blinked in confusion. "A walk? With you?"

The ice mage made a show of pretending to look around, giving a light smirk. "I don't see anyone else around, do you?"

Despite herself, Lucy laughed. "Alright then, I don't see why not." Pausing only to grab both sets of her keys and lock the door behind her, Lucy stepped out into the street, blinking in the bright light. It seemed sunnier than it had been only a few minutes ago. "So where are we going?"

Gray shrugged, starting to walk forward. "Nowhere, really."

With that, the two of them wandered around Magnolia aimlessly. In seven years, the town had changed somewhat, but the basic layout was still the same. By her side, Gray was unusually quiet except for when she started up any conversation, which struck Lucy as somewhat odd. Sure, Gray was far from a chatterbox, but he normally wasn't _that_ silent either. When she asked though, he simply shrugged again, and replied, "I thought you could use a break."

Lucy wasn't sure what he was talking about, but she nodded anyway.

The day somehow passed faster than she would have thought possible, and it was mid-afternoon when Gray led the way to a bridge on the outskirts of Magnolia and stopped in the middle, simply standing , leaning against the railing, and looking down at the rushing water. Lucy propped her arms on the railing next to him, resting her head on her palms, and they stood there side by side in amicable silence.

This was a nice feeling, Lucy decided, closing her eyes and listening to the softly running water. It was peaceful, and there was the presence of someone she trusted next to her, not pestering or anything, but just _there_. Her thoughts drifted back to the morning, when she had wanted to just sit on her bed and mope. A rush of gratitude towards Gray welled up inside her, for somehow being there at just the right time to distract her, and with a jolt, Lucy realized that Gray would understand better than anyone.

She forgot sometimes, that Gray's parents were dead too. Natsu still had his hope that Igneel could be, no, _would_ be found. Erza didn't remember her parents at all, and couldn't know the feelings associated with them. But she and Gray had both known, loved, and lost, and Lucy wondered if that made it any better.

"…cy. Lucy." She suddenly registered Gray calling her name, and turned her head towards him. "You were spacing out there for a bit. You okay?" He looked slightly worried, as if he wasn't sure what to do, and Lucy giggled. It only made the look of concern on his face grow deeper. "Uh, you sure you're okay and not going crazy or anything?"

"Idiot," Lucy huffed, slightly offended by the thought. "Of course not."

"I don't know, you're being all spacey and laughing for no reason, so…"

"No, I was just thinking about some things."

"Oh," She could hear the understanding in his voice. "Okay."

So silence fell between the both of them again, and it was an oddly comfortable one. Lucy didn't want to break it and she wasn't even sure when she had started talking, but Lucy suddenly found herself unloading everything she had been feeling to Gray: how she missed her father, how she regretted not telling him that she loved him when she had the chance, how she was just so _lonely_ for some reason even when she was around everyone else at the guild and that they should be enough but weren't and how she was sorry that she was just dumping all this on him all of a sudden. Her breath caught in her throat for a moment, and Lucy realized what she had let out.

"…Sorry. I… I'm sorry, I'm just tired." She laughed bitterly, and turned away from Gray. "Here I am, seventeen years old, and I'm sad that my father is dead and I can't get over that I didn't get to say goodbye and I'm just ranting to you about it now. I'm sorry, it's stupid."

"Don't be. It's not stupid." Gray hadn't spoken at all through her emotional outburst until now, only letting her ramble herself into silence, and Lucy was grateful. She waited for him to go on, to give her those million reasons why it hurt at any age, why she shouldn't be ashamed, why it was normal, and why she would and should just _get over it_, but Gray didn't speak again, only staring down at the water.

She was even more grateful for that. He really did understand.

Some amount of time passed, and Lucy suddenly realized that the sun was beginning to set. Had they been there that long?

Gray glanced at her. "Feeling better?"

"…Yeah." And she did. She felt better than she had in the last few days, maybe with the exception of when she had gone on that short mission with Natsu.

The orange and red sky grew increasingly streaked with slashes of purple and dark blue, and Lucy shivered as a slight wind blew around them. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Gray taking his jacket off and reaching over to throw it over her shoulders. "You don't have to do that…"

He simply put his hands in his pockets, shrugging. "You know that the cold's not gonna bother me," Gray said, grinning a little. "I was getting kind of warm anyway. Let's get going." With that, Gray started walking, and Lucy hurried to catch up with him.

They passed five streets in silence before Lucy spoke. "I didn't go to the guild at all today," she said thoughtfully. "Hey, Gray, how come you invited me out?"

The lighting was terrible, but Lucy swore she saw a little tinge of delicate pink spread across Gray's face. His voice was deceptively casual though. "Don't say it like that. People might get the wrong idea," he muttered. "And… I kind of wanted to apologize about yesterday."

"Yesterday?" Lucy let her mind rewind to the previous day. She had been in the guild…

"_Hey, have you guys seen Gildarts?" Cana asked, looking around suspiciously. Gray snickered._

"_What now?" he asked, not quite unkindly. "Are you lonely you aren't next to your daddy for a second?"_

_Lucy felt something in her chest sting suddenly._

"_Jerk!" Cana snapped, bringing her bag down on Gray's head. As he recovered from the blow, he caught sight of Lucy's wistful expression._

"_A-ah, sorry…!" he stammered, looking down shamefacedly. _

"_No, it's fine… Don't worry." For the rest of the day though, Lucy caught Gray glancing at her periodically, apparently still feeling guilty about the comment._

"Oh, was it about that?" Lucy asked, tilting her head. Gray nodded reluctantly, looking away as if the memory still caused him shame. "I meant it, you know. It's fine."

"No, I don't think it is," Gray said carefully. "That was… really insensitive of me. I wouldn't have… I _didn't_ like it when people said stuff like that, right after…" Gray grimaced, and began tugging at his shirt.

Lucy squeaked and pulled his arm away from the fabric. "Don't strip here!" But she understood. "Anyway, thanks, I guess. But you know, you haven't actually said sorry once the whole day," she teased, unable to resist one more jab at him.

Gray blinked. "I haven't? Oh. Well, uh… I'msorry," he said quickly, purposely looking anywhere but at her face. There was definitely more than just "a little tinge" of pink on his face now, Lucy observed. "Oh hey, we're at your place. You can get in okay, right? Right? Okay, later." With that, he quickly turned on his heel and started walking away very fast.

"Gray!" Lucy called, and the ice mage froze. Not literally, because that was totally impossible. Probably. He turned around, looking as if he wished to be anywhere but near her at the moment.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for today, really."

He was some distance away and the streetlight didn't quite reach his face, but Lucy knew that Gray was smiling.

"Don't mention it."

It wasn't until Lucy had gone into her house and locked the door that she realized Gray's jacket was still draped over her shoulders.

* * *

><p>"I have a terminal disease!"<p>

"But you can't die! What about our adopted daughter?"

"She also has a terminal disease!"

As the words left her lips, Lucy cringed in utter embarrassment. What kind of idiot came up with this script? She'd thought that it would be an easy job doing yet another play; more proof that the longer one was in Fairy Tail, the smaller one's brain became. Obviously, she hadn't learned from the last time they had come to this exact playhouse (totally trashing it in the process) and put on a just as stupid performance. Actually, this play was substantially stupider. As an aspiring author, she could definitely write something better.

Lucy was playing the part of some terminally ill teenage girl who was too pathetic to do anything. But at least it meant she mostly just had to lie around and gasp for breath a few times. On the other hand, it was an absolute disaster casting Natsu as the… _something_ of the girl. Husband? Lover? Friend who was cheating on the girl but came back because the girl had somehow adopted a child despite being close to dying and underage? Lucy really had no idea, since the story had no coherency. Natsu remembered the lines well enough, but his behavior never matched the mood of the scenes at all. Frankly, it made him come off as schizophrenic.

And worst of all, it had been someone's bright idea to put Happy in the role of the "adopted daughter". Lucy planned to buy a large bottle of bleach after they were done with the job. She could figure out how to pour it into her brain later.

She wasn't sure what Gray and Erza were there for. They didn't have any lines and mostly just hung around in the background. Lucky them, Lucy thought jealously.

"We were supposed to have thirty babies or so! Don't leave me!"

The play/pseudo-soap opera wasn't written to have any sort of action in it, but Lucy figured that she should have expected it when they ended up collapsing the stage because Natsu burnt a gaping hole in the wood trying to attack Gray.

"You two just couldn't keep it together for a couple hours!" Lucy ranted later on. But at that point, the celestial spirit mage was more surprised that _she_ was still surprised by their antics.

"Oh come on, droopy-eyes here was asking for it!" Natsu shouted back, pointing accusingly at Gray. Predictably, Gray rose to the bait.

Lucy slammed a fist on both of their heads, stopping the quickly escalating fight.

"I swear, those two!" Lucy complained to Plue, walking along the edge of the riverbank to her apartment. She thought she might have heard someone calling something about being careful, but she ignored it. Next to her, Plue spun unsteadily, tapping her leg in reassurance.

"And especially Natsu! His horrible acting aside, we've already rebuilt that playhouse before, and he had to go and destroy it again!"

"Puuuu~n," Plue agreed. Kind of. It was hard to tell. Lucy continued to grumble as she reached her apartment and opened the door.

"Yo, Lucy!" And promptly screamed.

"My room!"

_Why_ was she still surprised?

…

"So," Lucy sighed, flopping down onto her couch. Natsu was twitching on the floor while Happy tried to fan him with a piece of paper. "What did you come here for this time?"

Natsu blinked back to awareness, pushing himself up to a sitting position. "Do we need a reason to break into your place?"

"Don't give me that!" Lucy snapped, rolling her eyes in irritation. "What do you have to say for yourself after that mission today, huh? Did you come here to wreck my apartment again?"

"Of course not! What do you take us for?" Natsu gently shoved her to the other end of the couch, making room so he could sit on it again. "And I've told you a million times already, your place is really comfortable."

"Aye!" Happy chirped in agreement, contributing absolutely nothing to their discussion. Stupid cat.

Lucy rolled her eyes once more. She was definitely in for a long night.

…

Sometime later, Lucy woke up. Wait, she'd been asleep? Oh. She'd fallen asleep on the couch. How silly. And what was that annoyingly loud sound? Her mind still slightly fuzzy, Lucy turned her head to the side and saw Natsu snoring next to her, Happy curled up on his lap. Oh. She'd fallen asleep leaning against him. Well, that explained why she was so warm. Natsu was always warm.

Lucy yawned, vaguely registering that she should probably get up and go to sleep properly on her bed, but it was so _warm_ and she didn't want to move. Her eyes closed, and she already felt herself drifting off again. In her sleep-muddled state, Lucy's thoughts turned to Natsu for some reason. Probably because he was being a pillow. A really, really warm pillow.

Natsu was a total moronic, bloodthirsty, stalking, invading _idiot_ who regularly cost Lucy her paycheck.

And maybe she could somehow delude herself into thinking that she sort of kind of possibly liked him just a little tiny bit for that.

There were some things that she didn't _have_ to understand, Lucy realized. And it was just fine with her. Maybe that was a kind of understanding all in itself. Funny how it took Natsu being a pillow for her to realize that.

* * *

><p>It was true that Lucy and Happy didn't see eye to eye often. It was most definitely true because when he wasn't flying, Happy didn't even reach up to Lucy's knee. Happy would spout off a comment about Lucy's weight, Lucy would retort with something about his infatuation with Charle (and a voodoo doll, if there were any nearby), and then it would descend into even more bickering and banter.<p>

But one day, in a rare moment of unity, Lucy and Happy both agreed that they would never understand why Natsu had thought it would be a good idea to try and cure his motion sickness by asking Erza to strap him on a train for a whole day.

Needless to say, what happened wasn't pretty. The celestial spirit mage and the Exceed shared an exasperated glance, and set off to rescue the unfortunate Dragon Slayer.

All in a day's work.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** I stumbled into Fairy Tail some months ago, and what really got me was the extent of Lucy's friendship with her team. I love the shipping as much as the next person, but I think that the relationship that Team Natsu shares together will always be my favorite part of Fairy Tail. Hope to be writing more for the fandom soon!


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